Lykkeligt forvirret, rastløs og søgende
Jeg har været så ked af det og udmattet over mit rastløse hjerte. Jeg gør mig tanker om at gå verden rundt på fire år, om at bygge en træhytte og plante en kæmpe køkkenhave, om at surfe og vandre i fjelde. Tanker om hvad og hvem jeg bør være, om min karakter, livsstil, mine valg, det fundament jeg bygger mit liv på, mine prioriteter. Det holdt mig vågen, tog al min energi, gjorde mig ked af det at prøve at vide og kontrollere det hele. Så faldt jeg over citaterne nedenfor på den smukke blog af A Well Traveled Woman. Jeg forstod helt intuitivt, at problemet ikke var min søgen, min forvirring og min længsel efter bevægelse, men derimod mit forsøg på at kontrollere og bestemme det hele. Jeg er tyve. Det er godt at jeg ikke har styr på det hele, men har mod på at bevæge mig, udvikle min karakter og søge meningen med det hele. Nu kan jeg nyde processen og lege lykkeligt videre med tankerne.
"Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don't even recognize that growth is happening. We may feel hostile or angry or weepy and hysterical, or we may feel depressed. It would never occur to us, unless we stumbled on a book or a person who explained to us, that we were in fact in the process of change, of actually becoming larger, spiritually, than we were before. Whenever we grow, we tend to feel it, as a young seed must feel the weight and inertia of becoming a plant. Often the feeling is anything but pleasant. But what is most unpleasant is the not knowing what is happening. Those long periods when something inside ourselves seems to be waiting, holding its breath, unsure about what the next step should be, eventually become the periods we wait for, for it is in those periods that we realize that we are being prepared for det next phase of our life and thaut, in all probalility, a new level of the personality is about to be revealed." - Alice Walker: Living by the word
"This is the thing: When you hit 28 or 30, everything begins to divide. You can see very clearly two kinds of people. On one side, people who have used their 20s to learn and grow, to find themselves and their dreams, poeple who know what works and what doesn't, who have pushed through to become real life adults. Then there's the other kind, who are hanging onto college, or high school even, with all their might. They've stayed in jobs they hate, because they're too scared to get another one. They've stayed with men or women who are good but not great, because they don't want to be lonely. They mean to develop intimate friendships, they mean to stof drinkring like life is one big frat party. But they don't do those things, so they live in an extended adolescence, no closer to adulthood than when they graduated.
Don't be like that. Don't get stuck. Move, travel, take a class, take a risk. There is a season for wilderness and a season for settledness, and this is neither. This season is about becoming." - Relevant Magazine
"Stop beating yourself up. You are a work in progress - which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once." - Unknown
